Goodbyes and boxes

I just have to give you a box update.
All the newly bought things are officially packed up.
All that's left?
Things like makeup and shampoo that I'm still using daily,
And then I just have to dig through my desk drawers and decide what little knick knacks I want to bring with me.

It's settling in.
This is it.

I'm not... as scared anymore.
I'm a little worried that I won't get along with my roommates.
I'm starting to second-guess my major choice, of course.
But... I'm getting used to the idea of college.

Seeing older friends update their facebook status to excited sayings about college, like "Going back 'home' - can't wait to see my friends!" really helps pump me up.




Today, I said my first official 'goodbye'.
It was to my uncle who'd managed to stop by.
Considering I leave in 3 days, and he probably won't stop over between then, my mom made me say "goodbye".

It consisted of me walking into the garage, where my parents were talking to him, and saying "So, this is where I awkwardly stand here and say 'See you at Christmas'?"

They all laughed.
My uncle's response was "You'll be home before then"
Then he left.
My dad's side of the family think the less you say, the better.


Either way, the goodbyes are starting.
I had 3 text conversations before 11am, discussing when they'd have free time to stop over and say goodbye.

It's odd.
In all cases, I just said "No worries if we don't get around to it - I'll be back in 2 months. You won't even miss me :)"

I think that's my approach to this leaving thing.
Avoid goodbyes.
Switch them up to "See you in a few months"

Like I've said before, to many people, I'm pretending this is just a vacation.
I'm going to a fall sleepaway camp.
I'll room with 2 strangers.
We'll do group activities every weekend.
We'll just happen to learn things along the way that have to do with our ideal career path.

It'll hold off homesickness...
Or so I hope.


There's only 1 goodbye I'm worried about.

You guessed it.
The boy.


He's the one person I have to say 'goodbye' to,
But he's also the one I don't want to.


The best part?
(Sarcasm, of course)
I thought tomorrow was his last day.

Correction,
NEXT Sunday is his last day.

Here I'd been excited, thinking he had Monday off, so that we could hang out one last day.
And I thought there'd be a chance that he'd be willing to skip cross country practice to help me move in on Tuesday...

Only he has work.

True, he can ask off.

Multiple people - friends, parents, and strangers - have told me "Just ask him to take off! You're going to college! It's a legit reason!"

But I still feel guilty.

I think I will ask the boy to help me move in though. Or at least let him know he's been cordially invited by my parents to tag along, and that I'd love it if he came.
The rest can be left up to him.

I'm afraid we won't get a proper goodbye.

The boy and I are terrible that way.
Our timing just fails.
I can't emphasize that enough.
Whether it's texting, running into one another at grad parties, or what days we're in town vs on vacation.

But this has to work out.
I need it to.

That's a kind of goodbye I can handle.
He'd help me all day, unpacking boxes and arranging my room.
He'll see where I'm living.
He'll meet my roommates.
He'll see everyone else on my floor.

It'll give me a sense of calm, too - knowing that he's been in my room.
As lame as that sounds.
It will just be a sense of comfort I can't really explain,
But hopefully you can understand.

Plus, it will be a drawn out goodbye.
An entire day of getting used to the idea.

That, by the end, all we'll do is hug, kiss, and promise to keep in touch.
I'll joke about how I hope he survives the drive home with my parents.
It'd be great.

Crossing my fingers.

2 other times over the last few weeks, I've raised my expectations for boy hang outs.
Both have failed.
Let's hope the 3rd time's a charm.