The Wizard gave me a heart.

This post could go one of two ways.
Boring or Sappy.

Neither are ideal.
But I have to go down one of the forks in the road.
I opt for sappy.



I've only been dating the boy for less than a month.
I could quickly veer down the boring path and go into our history,
But I'll save that for a rainy day.


When the boy and I made things official,
We made it clear that I was going off to college.
The entire time we were flirting,
The entire 4-5 months,
I made sure to keep reminding him, and myself, that I was going off to college.
3 hours away.
I thought it'd make things easier.


But at some point,
My cold blood thawed,
I threw down my guards,
The wizard gave me a heart...

I started to care for the boy.

It was just today that I realized this.

I've been toying around with the idea of 'love' for the last week or so now.
I know I'm not there yet.
But I'm dangerously close.

You have to understand,
The boy is my first boyfriend.
He's the first guy that I've let get this close to me.
The first person I've opened up to this much.

I was always known as heartless.
Sarcasm was my first language.
If any cute stranger would try to hit on me, I'd roll my eyes at him and give him the cold shoulder.
I didn't think boys were worth my time and effort.


Then the boy came along.
My boy.
Somewhere along the way,
I fell into like.



The boy has a twin brother.
It just so happens that his brother is dating a good friend of mine.
Who is also going off to college in the fall.
We're in the same boat.
Dating the 16 year old boys actually brought us closer.


Today we were hanging out.
The conversation took a nostalgic turn as we sat on a bench in the middle of the park.
The topic?
"What are you going to do with the boy the night before you head off to college?"
We sat there, debating.
Which was better?
Going on an adventure, making memories, and just enjoying each others company?
Or sitting on a couch, cuddling, fighting back tears?




That's when it hit me.

It's almost impossible to make me cry.
I've only cried in 2 movies.
Lilo and Stitch, when I was 10, at the part where Lilo was being taken away from her sister,
And Just Like Heaven, when I was drugged up on cold medicine and out of it, when she said it was too late.

I also don't miss people.
When I was 14, I went on a week-long trip with my school to DC.
It took me 4 days before I called my family, and that was only because my friends made me dial the number.
I was the definition of a loner.


But then the boy snuck up on me.

As my friend sat there, confessing how she's sat down and bawled, thinking about how much she'll miss everyone, more importantly her boyfriend...

I realized that I felt the overwhelming urge to cry too.

The idea of cuddling up with the boy,
Confessing how much I'd miss him,
Sounded like exactly what I wanted to do.

I started paying more attention.
To the way a smile spreads across my face when I get a text from him,
followed by this relaxing sense of calm and reassurance.

I realized that I'd find myself spacing out at moments, remembering the way he'd look at me and smile after a goodnight kiss, only to snap out of it and find myself smiling in return.

I'd read a text from the boy, saying how he loves the fact that we're dating, and I'd find my first instinct would be to respond with the text "And I love you."



I care for the boy.
Love would be taking it a little too far...
But it's getting there.

It scares me to no end.
The fact that one person could have such a deep hold on me.

But, I wouldn't trade it for the world.



The only downside?

11 days before I move into college is the worst time to come to this realization.